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morphobtrfly:

Me: Is it okay with you if i wear my sock monkey peejays to take you to school?

MJ: Sure momma. You can wear anything you want, cuz it’s your body!

RAISING HUMAN BEINGS RIGHT SINCE 2002

angiemariecara:

There was an awesome woman on the train today with her two children. One was about 3 and the other maybe, 7? She looked like your typical suburban mom, but there was something different about her. The way she communicated with her children, who I have to say were the most well behaved/mannered kids I have ever seen in public. She spoke to them like human beings and not children; like the way you see normal people having a conversation about life or work or television. Each took their turn speaking and the other two listening and responding. Her interaction with them was so strange, but the greatest thing I have ever seen. She didn’t hold herself above them, but rather sat beside them, equal to them in communication, but you can tell they respected her above all else. They know she is in charge, but she doesn’t have to force it - and all that happens because of the way she communicates with them. No baby talk, straight up. The 3 year old was speaking like a little human. I don’t know, just something that really made me smile. Children are smarter than most people treat them. I hate seeing parents treat their children like little pets, or show them off, or scold them for being loud and expressive. We have to remember how they see the world, untainted. They see more truth in the world than we will ever see again. Communicate to them like humans, teach them new things, but also learn from them - don’t force, just be - remember, you chose to bring a human life into the world; So ask yourself, what types of people is this world missing? Be honest and real with them, communicate and listen, and step off your high horse onto equal ground. Lead them to become the people the world is deprived of. 

amyleforge:

10 Ways Divorce Can Effect a Child Throughout Their Youth

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Divorce causes a disruption in the lives of both parents and the children living in the home. While it does affect some children negatively, it is important to note that not all children experience problems. And that you as parents can do everything in your power to make the adjustment as issue free as possible. Make sure to go through the stages of divorce mediationand work out all the details…

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alexstark-the-hunter:

If a little kid draws something and you see it but can’t tell what it is don’t guess at what it is or ask “what is that” because it totally discourages them because they think it’s a bad drawing

Instead ask them if they’ll tell you about their drawing, it gives them a chance to tell you what it is and the parts of it that are important to them and you don’t make them feel bad

Dear Daughter,

When you and I disagree about things, I try and remember that I do not have a right to your body, you have a right to your body. I have a responsibility. Sometimes my responsibility means that I have to do things that you might not consent to in the moment.

You have the right to the teeth inside your mouth, the hair on your head, the butt inside your diaper. You have a right to the arms and shoulders and legs and hips that are held in place in your car seat.

I have a responsibility to make sure that your teeth are brushed, that your hair is clean, that the butt inside your diaper is changed and rash-free, and that you are safe inside a moving car.

These are not optional things. They are not always things that you can understand the value of.

I try not to fight you on them, not because I’m afraid of tears or find your tantrums to be threatening, but because I don’t feel that you should have to fight with me in order for me to remember that you own this body of yours.

"I’m sorry, I have to brush your teeth" instead of "I am going to brush your teeth whether you like it or not!"

I am sorry that I sometimes have responsibilities that I can’t make clear enough for you to consent. I try and help you get past your resistance in whatever ways I can, but sometimes I have to go ahead and make sure that you are safe and healthy.

I will never take your rights from you in anger, in mocking, or through a sense of entitlement.

 Mama

[via Nurshable]

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

(via kittiesandjesus)

sunflower-mama:

*snorting with laughter*

sunflower-mama:

*snorting with laughter*

(via kittiesandjesus)

  • Dad: hey I'm gonna go grocery shopping do you need anything?
  • Me: uuuhhh....
  • Me: contemplates whether or not I should ask him to get me pads since I need them desperately
  • Dad: anything at all?
  • Me: uh... Yeah.... Can you get me some pads
  • Dad: Sure
  • Me: Are you serious? Wouldn't you be embarrassed?
  • Dad: Natalie, I'm a 56 year old man who has been buying pads for your mother for over 20 years. No I'm not embarrassed.
  • Me: But I thought guys get squeamish when we ask them to buy this stuff for us
  • Dad: boys are squeamish. Men will step out and buy you as many pads and tampons as you need. A man will understand that you cannot control your cycle and that this is a natural bodily process. So, if you ever find a guy who's too embarrassed to buy you pad just bleed on everything he owns.
  • Me: OMG DAD