There was an awesome woman on the train today with her two children. One was about 3 and the other maybe, 7? She looked like your typical suburban mom, but there was something different about her. The way she communicated with her children, who I have to say were the most well behaved/mannered kids I have ever seen in public. She spoke to them like human beings and not children; like the way you see normal people having a conversation about life or work or television. Each took their turn speaking and the other two listening and responding. Her interaction with them was so strange, but the greatest thing I have ever seen. She didn’t hold herself above them, but rather sat beside them, equal to them in communication, but you can tell they respected her above all else. They know she is in charge, but she doesn’t have to force it - and all that happens because of the way she communicates with them. No baby talk, straight up. The 3 year old was speaking like a little human. I don’t know, just something that really made me smile. Children are smarter than most people treat them. I hate seeing parents treat their children like little pets, or show them off, or scold them for being loud and expressive. We have to remember how they see the world, untainted. They see more truth in the world than we will ever see again. Communicate to them like humans, teach them new things, but also learn from them - don’t force, just be - remember, you chose to bring a human life into the world; So ask yourself, what types of people is this world missing? Be honest and real with them, communicate and listen, and step off your high horse onto equal ground. Lead them to become the people the world is deprived of.
Divorce causes a disruption in the lives of both parents and the children living in the home. While it does affect some children negatively, it is important to note that not all children experience problems. And that you as parents can do everything in your power to make the adjustment as issue free as possible. Make sure to go through the stages of divorce mediationand work out all the details…
If a little kid draws something and you see it but can’t tell what it is don’t guess at what it is or ask “what is that” because it totally discourages them because they think it’s a bad drawing
Instead ask them if they’ll tell you about their drawing, it gives them a chance to tell you what it is and the parts of it that are important to them and you don’t make them feel bad
When you and I disagree about things, I try and remember that I do not have a right to your body, you have a right to your body. I have a responsibility. Sometimes my responsibility means that I have to do things that you might not consent to in the moment.
You have the right to the teeth inside your mouth, the hair on your head, the butt inside your diaper. You have a right to the arms and shoulders and legs and hips that are held in place in your car seat.
I have a responsibility to make sure that your teeth are brushed, that your hair is clean, that the butt inside your diaper is changed and rash-free, and that you are safe inside a moving car.
These are not optional things. They are not always things that you can understand the value of.
I try not to fight you on them, not because I’m afraid of tears or find your tantrums to be threatening, but because I don’t feel that you should have to fight with me in order for me to remember that you own this body of yours.
"I’m sorry, I have to brush your teeth" instead of "I am going to brush your teeth whether you like it or not!"
I am sorry that I sometimes have responsibilities that I can’t make clear enough for you to consent. I try and help you get past your resistance in whatever ways I can, but sometimes I have to go ahead and make sure that you are safe and healthy.
I will never take your rights from you in anger, in mocking, or through a sense of entitlement.